Arrows of Infidelity Are Destroying Marriages

          Satan has two primary targets. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the marriage institution. All fulcrums of society hang on the success of the gospel and family relations. According to Ashley Montagu, British-American anthropologist, “The family is the basis of society. As the family is, so is the society, and it is human beings who make a family – not he quantity of them, but the quality of them. (az.quotes.com). M. Russell Ballard Jr., American businessman and religious leader adds that “The family is not just the basic unit of the society; it is the basic unit of eternity (az.quotes.com). Senator Marco Rubio of the United States stressed that “The most important institution in society is the family. If the family breaks down, society breaks down” (az.quotes.com).

         Does it surprise us that satan did not tempt Adam to eat the forbidden fruit when it was just him and the animals? From the Biblical account, Eve was not created at the same time with Adam. Genesis 2:17 says, “The LORD God also said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper”. Note that it was after Eve came on the scene that the devil made his move. He knew what the marriage institution represented both in the physical and spiritual realms. He sent his arrows to the young couple through the serpent and the rest is history.

          Having successfully undermined the relationship between man and God through the former’s disobedience, his next target was the seed of the woman God spoke about in Genesis 3:15, “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He will bruise and tread your head underfoot, and you will lie in wait and bruise His heel”. Revelation 12:4-5 also speak of the devil going after the child of a woman: “…..And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, ready to devour her child as soon as she gave birth. And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron sceptre. And her child was caught up to God and to His throne”. The Old Testament also tells us about satan’s many attempts to destroy the nation of Israel to prevent the coming of the Messiah, as well as his scheme to kill the baby Jesus through Herod.

 In spite of the fact that he failed in his attempt to abort God’s eternal plan through the Messiah, satan has not left off in his pursuit of destroying the marriage institution. In fact, the attacks have intensified especially through the social media and other tools of communication. Humans are now exposed to pornography at a scale that is mind-boggling.

Apart from Internet sex which is now pervasive among both males and females, married and single, there are things being done by humans that would scandalise the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. In some Western societies, wife-swapping is becoming the norm, while sex orgies are also common place alongside Zoophilia (sexual intercourse with animals). These acts of sexual perversion are also seeping into other societies outside the West.

         In Nigeria, an acquaintance narrated how her married female friend took her to a swimming pool party hosted by a group of other married women where they were “entertained” by male prostitutes. There are also stories of married women using gigolos to source male prostitutes to conceal their identities from their clients. I heard of a married woman, the wife of a pastor who got into an illicit relationship with a young man.

The husband later got to know about the affair after her lover started blackmailing her using videos of their sexual escapades. Imagine the wife of a pastor descending so low to pollute herself, thereby bringing the name of God into disrepute!

           The most potent weapon of satan against the marriage institution right now is the Internet. Most of the social media platforms are being used as recruitment channels by the sexually active crowd, both married and single. While some do it for money, others get entangled for the fun of it. In an article in verywellmind.com titled, Is Pornography Destroying Your Marriage? Marni Feuerman observed that an increasing number of couples report that pornography is causing difficulties in their relationships. The author noted that most people who access pornographic contents do not want their partners to know about their activities.

Consequently, the secrecy, shame, isolation and lies often snowball into a lot of problems. According to John and Julie Gottman, founders of the Gottman Institute, “The use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction. They concluded that “for many reasons, pornography poses threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony” (verywellmind.com).

Infidelity is roundly condemned in the Bible. There are no grounds for it at all. Unfortunately the scourge is as pervasive among Christians as it is in the world at large. The reason is not far-fetched. Some so-called ‘men of God’ are contributing to the situation by endorsing certain sexual acts that are not explicitly mentioned in the Bible. For instance, the pastor of a large Christian congregation in Nigeria insists that masturbation is not a sin. That, in essence opens the door for unclean spirits to operate among his members who engage in that filthy practice. It is impossible for people to engage in masturbation and not graduate into feeding on pornographic materials. What kind of a pastor would expose his followers to such lewdness?

          Sexual sins are abominations before God regardless of the marital status of the culprits. Fornication (sexual intercourse between people not married to each other) and adultery (voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not their spouse) carry the same weight of judgment before a Holy God. He is however willing to forgive and cleanse us of all unrighteousness resulting from these sins if we repent and put out trust in the finished work of Christ on the cross. Repentance is the key.

Friends, if you have allowed satan to deceive you into breaking your marital vow to engage in illicit sexual relationship, confess your mistakes to the LORD today. He will not brand you a child of the devil. He loves and cares for you, but you must repent of this grievous sin. Do it today and receive the joy that comes from being free of shame and the control of satan.

            I also have some words for the partner that has been wronged. If God exposes the infidelity of your spouse, it is not enough for you to end your marriage. Your pains are real and I empathise with you. I implore you to show mercy even when you feel that your spouse does not deserve it. According to Mathew 19:9, sexual immorality is the only grounds for divorce. You do not have to take that route though. James 2:13 declares that “mercy rejoices over judgment”. Choose to show him or her mercy. Remember that the Lord Jesus Christ said in Mathew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy”. Ask the Father to grant you the grace to forgive your spouse and trust Him to do so.

             It will be a very painful journey, but you will not regret taking the important step of being like your Father in His relationship with physical Israel. His love for Israel endured even the worse off betrayals. He said in Jeremiah 3:1. “They say if a man puts away his wife, and become another man’s, will he return to her again? Wouldn’t that land be greatly polluted? But you have played the prostitute with many lovers; yet return again to me, says the LORD”. If God can forgive physical Israel its many sins, especially idolatry, surely He can give you the grace to start all over again with your spouse. Let Him do a new work in your marriage my friend and put the devil to shame.