Interview with Old Testament Figure – Tamar: I abhor certain stories in the Holy Bible, and wish that Almighty God had left them out of His book. One of them is the travail of Tamar, David’s daughter and Absalom’s sister. Before Moses received the Law from God on Mount Horeb, incestual relationships were tolerated among the Hebrews and other tribes in the Middle East. For instance, Abram, who later became Abraham married his stepsister, Sarai, whose name God later changed to Sarah (Genesis 20:12).
Under the Law of Moses, incestuous relationships are forbidden. Leviticus 18 and 20 list prohibited relationships and associated punishments, including unions between parents and children, siblings, and certain close relatives. Our interviewee today is Tamar, David’s daughter, who was raped by her stepbrother, Amnon, born to David by Ahinoam from Jezreel.
Shepherd Heart: Thank you for honouring our invitation Tamar.
Tamar: The pleasure is mine. Thanks for having me.
Shepherd Heart: Yours is one of the stories in the Bible that are difficult to read because they break the heart. Tell our readers what you want them to know about you, especially your encounter with Amnon.
Tamar: It is difficult for me to belief that anyone could be so cruel, even after more than 3,500 years since my stepbrother truncated my destiny. In your generation, those who talk about the situation see it from the perspective of a dysfunctional polygamous family. Up until the moment Amnon molested me, all the king’s children lived in harmony with each other. None of us was segregated along the lines of matrilineal or patrilineal linkages. We grew up together in the same palace and interacted freely as toddlers and teenagers. It was during our adult years that our separate interests kept us apart; but not in malice. Amnon and I had a cordial relationship and he was particularly close to my brother Absalom.
Shepherd Heart: The first day I read the story, my thought was that you did not do enough to extricate yourself from his grip. In fact, that is the mind-set of Islamic regimes in the Middle East. That is why they tend to punish victims of rapes, rather than the culprits. My conviction along that line was disproved the day I was almost raped by a colleague in my home.
The man was far too strong for me to push away. He rolled off me after I cried out to God. Anyway, I am not insinuating that you failed to do the same thing because these were different scenarios. What was your initial reaction after he succeeded in his evil act?
Tamar: I was in too much shock to be able to think straight. That was why I made the stupid suggestion that he should ask the king for permission to marry me. At that time, incest was a capital offense in Israel hence, both of us would probably have been stoned to death but for the fact that we were the king’s children.
Shepherd Heart: I still do not understand why your brother, Absalom withdrew you from circulation and kept you in insolation. Was there any law in Israel at that time that prohibited a woman who lost her virginity from getting married?
Tamar: Losing one’s virginity was indeed a serious matter in my days, but that was not the reason my brother acted that way. It was the shame Amnon’s action brought on the entire family. He felt that it was his duty to protect me, especially since my father did not act immediately to sanction Amnon.
Shepherd Heart: Your father’s inaction was a surprise to me as well. What do you think influenced his decision not to punish Amnon?
Tamar: Perhaps he did not want to aggravate the situation. I felt betrayed and voiced my disappointment to my mother and brother. If the king had given me justice, Absalom would not have taken the law into his hands by murdering Amnon. In effect, my father contributed to the death of Amnon.
Shepherd Heart: What punishment would the king have meted out to Amnon that would have pacified you and your brother?
Tamar: At that time, banishment was the most severe punishment, next to the death penalty. My father knew what to do but chose to keep Amnon in the palace.
Shepherd Heart: Apparently, you are still pained by the entire saga and the role your father played in it. Have you had time, in the rarefied atmosphere of heaven to confront him over the matter?
Tamar: Of course, there is no place for malice in heaven. My father and I have reconciled fully. My responses to your questions do not in any way reflect my current disposition towards him. I believe that your interest lies in helping your readers to get a better perspective about that ugly incident and to learn from my experience.
Shepherd Heart: You are very correct. We do not conduct these interviews to paint any Biblical figures in bad light, no matter the mistakes they made. We aim to identify the learning points that could help our readers to navigate similar trials and challenges in God’s strength. What lessons do you thinks young women in our generation can learn from your travails?
Tamar: The most important thing is discernment. Grow your discernment under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. In our days, we did not have an indwelling Spirit because the Messiah had not died to make a way for that to happen. Your generation is better placed to walk in discernment than ours did. I emphasise discernment because it would help them not to trust people blindly. Isaiah was talking about your days in chapter 30, verse 21 of his book, “And whether you turn to the right hand or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: ‘This is the way. Walk in it.”
Many people who call the Messiah their Lord and Saviour do not allow the Holy Spirit to lead them. In essence, they are still their own lords. Romans 8:14 is emphatic that only those led by the Holy Spirit are God’s children. Note that it did not say those who received or are indwelled by the Holy Spirit. You can receive the Holy Spirit and refuse to follow His leading.
Shepherd Heart: I agree with you totally. The problem is that many people who claim to follow Jesus have made men their god. Social media influencers, pastors, general overseers etc. lead some of them astray, because they hardly read the Holy Bible themselves. How can a person claim to be a child of God and find His word offensive? Thank you very much for sharing your experience with us. We also appreciate your counsel on the importance of yielding to the leading of the Holy Spirit. We pray that God would use these to minister wisdom to our readers and cause them to have relationship with Him that is more productive.
Tamar: I am glad that you gave me an opportunity to influence their lives positively. Remember that the cloud of witnesses in heaven is routing for your generation. We expect so much from you because to whom much is given, much is expected. No other generation has had the kind of outpouring of the Holy Spirit that you currently enjoy. Make good use of His services to reach the lost for Christ.
Shepherd Heart: Thank you once again for the confidence you repose in us to share the good news of Christ. We look forward to seeing you at His feet.