Adventures of Flora and Fauna: Spicy Proof of Evolution by Pearl Adams. The book is a satire aimed at showing the ridiculousness of Evolution Theory.
Chapter 16 – Tiny Feet
Of all the creatures in the world that really
frighten me – the hyena in Africa, the great
white shark – leopard seals are near the
top of the list. They’re killers.
If my team spots one, they’ll pull
me out of the water.
Lewis Gordon Pugh19
I arrived for my appointment in Sawmill Bay, Alaska on a cloudy Tuesday morning, along with a colleague, Francisca Bates. My boss persuaded me to take her along to enable her ‘learn the ropes’. I was actually glad to oblige him because Francisca and I got along very well. On the drive from Anchorage International Airport to Sawmill Bay, we chatted excitedly about the interviews I had conducted so far and the prospects of both of us collaborating in subsequent assignments. At the State owned Marine Park, we were received by an official, Nick Barnes and taken straight to an enclosure surrounded by wire mesh. There were hundreds of seals at the facility. I couldn’t help but notice the similarity between the animals and the characters portrayed in the movie, ‘Tiny Feet’.
At the edge of the mesh close to where we stood, Barnes curved the index finger and the thumb of his right hand, placed both in his mouth and made a strange sound. Suddenly, a large seal with very long hind flippers waddled towards us. Apparently it was our host. I smiled and held out my hand, but it ignored it and went straight to where Barnes stood. It twirled and bounced around him before it sat on one of the rocks that dotted the Park. I was impressed with the display of affection. I had no idea that seals could be that friendly towards humans. Barnes blew him a kiss and asked me to start the interview. He then took his leave.
Belinda: Good to see you Mr. Tonyx
Tonyx (Laughter). You’re so transparent!
Belinda: I beg your pardon! What exactly do you mean?
Tonyx: You’re smarting because I didn’t shake your hand. You females are the same everywhere. Even the female seals among us exhibit the same obnoxious prideful attitude.
Belinda: Wow! We’ve just met and you’re psychoanalyzing me. Very interesting! This is my colleague, Francisca. She’s here as an observer.
Tonyx: Anyway, my action wasn’t intended to rile you or diminish your worth. In the Phocidae family of seals, the males are chauvinists. Though we love our females, we do not give them the opportunity to go beyond their bounds.
Belinda: (Laughter). Believe me Mr. Tonyx. I’ve not taken any offence. I’m quite familiar with the mind-set of male chauvinists.
Tonyx: Good. What exactly do you want to know about the Phocidae family?
Belinda: For starters, how you evolved from Osteolaemus family of crocodiles to your current status.
Tonyx: Hmm. I will speak for myself and not the family. I first noticed something strange about my body after I visited a comrade crocodile off the coast of Florida, along with 25 others. We were in festive mood as we had just ended three weeks of hunting in the Caribbean Sea, which was our home. The comrade we were visiting had the misfortune of losing three of his broods in a tangle with a streak of tigers. On our way back to the Caribbean theatre, I felt the scales on my body give way. I didn’t panic because I thought it was the effect of the water. When we got to the Caribbean Sea, I noticed that other comrades looked weird. At that point, I didn’t know something radical had happened to us. I just knew they looked funny.
Belinda: What exactly did you see in them that were out of place?
Tonyx: The most noticeable was their massive reptilian-like head and jaws. They also had counter-shaded coat, dark gray blended coloration with spotted pattern and short whiskers. In fact, they resembled Leopards.
Belinda: At what point did you know that your body had undergone similar transformation?
Tonyx: As we approached the Caribbean Sea, I saw my reflection in the clear blue waters. I almost fainted.
Belinda: Did you howl or something?
Tonyx: It was more of a shriek.
Belinda: Did your comrades react in like manner?
Tonyx: It was bedlam! We couldn’t even help each other because we had no idea what had happened to us.
Belinda: So, what did you do eventually?
Tonyx: What could we do? We simply accepted our fate and moved on with life.
Belinda: How long ago was this?
Tonyx: Not more than two million years.
Belinda: So, in all that time none of you transformed into something else?
Tonyx: A few of us changed into other life forms like hippopotamus.
Belinda: Before we talk about that in detail, could you explain the origin of your unique features such as the layer of fat under your skin called blubber, which keeps you warm in water?
Tonyx: Honestly I’ve no idea. I can’t account for all the features in my body. I use them as occasion demands without asking unnecessary questions!
Belinda: Could you give me the trajectory of your life as a seal?
Tonyx: This may surprise you. I long for my crazy crocodile days. Yes. I’ve got the body and mind of a seal, but something deep within me yearns for my past life.
Belinda: That’s indeed a big surprise. You’re the first evolutionist interviewee that has expressed such sentiments. And that brings me to a very important question. Have you witnessed a reverse evolution?
Tonyx: I’m not sure the evolutionary process can be reversed.
Belinda: Well. I’ve read an article that mentioned evolutionary cycle. How can it be a cycle if reversal is out of the question? If you can evolve from a crocodile to a seal after a certain number of years, what prevents you from returning to your former state within another cycle of change?
Tonyx: These are very valid questions. I really do not understand why no entity has experienced reverse transformation.
Belinda: Okay. Back to the current state of some of your comrades, are any of those who evolved into hippopotamus within reach?
Tonyx: Not really, but you can locate them in coastal areas of East Africa.
Belinda: (Groans). Not again!
Tonyx: (Laughter). That’s a strange reaction from Madam Adventure! Don’t you like Africa?
Belinda: It’s beyond how I feel. I was in East Africa three weeks ago. Honestly, I don’t relish the thought of another long flight to that continent.
Tonyx: A piece of advice Ma’am. Don’t let your emotion get in the way of your accomplishment. Just think of the trip as another ladder to climb to the top of your profession.
Belinda: Thanks for the kind words. Francisca and I appreciate the time spent with you.
Tonyx. I enjoyed the chat too Ma’am.
Chapter 17 – Lumber Jack
There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and
there is a hippopotamus in me that wants
to wallow in the mud
Carl Sandburg20
Wading through the dense forest in Malindi, Kenya was a most challenging task for Francisca and me. Though we were properly kitted in jungle boots and jeans, I was afraid of stepping on dangerous reptiles, especially snakes. I stole a glance at Francisca and was surprised to see a smile playing around her eyes. “She must be queer to enjoy this kind of situation”, I mused. The fast pace of Wyatt Ashura, the Tour Guide did not help matters. I could barely keep up with him.
I made a mental note to hire an older person if I had cause to return to Africa in the course of the assignment. I was about to scold the guy when I caught sight of the ugliest animals I’ve ever seen in my life. They moved in a beeline towards us. I instinctively clutched the hand of Wyatt and hid behind his back, beckoning on Francisca to join me. The guy smiled reassuringly at me and said, “Hippos are only dangerous if they are provoked or feel threatened. Just relax and treat them with respect”.
One of the animals pulled out of the pack and ran towards us. Despite the assurances from Wyatt, I gripped his hand. Wild thoughts played havoc on my mind. I imagined us being torn into pieces by the ugly beasts bearing down on us. The hippo stopped about 50 meters to our position and said, “I’m Artioma, head of the Tamidae family of Hippopotamus. We welcome you to our kingdom”. It then turned to its comrades who were within earshot and asked them to return to their homes. After the pleasantries, Wyatt led the way to a clearing within the forest that had some improvised seats made of bamboo. He then gave me a signal to start the chat.
Belinda: Thank you very much Mr. Artioma for giving us your time.
Artioma: Our people say that having a good discussion is like having riches. I’m sure your presence will bring great blessings to my comrades and me.
Belinda: I bring you greetings from America.
Artioma: Aha! I’ve heard so much about your country. I’m told that your people care more for animals than humans.
Belinda: I’m not sure that’s correct Mr. Artioma.
Artioma: I’m sure my sources are credible. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to have the chat with you. Anyway, what can I do for you?
Belinda: I need to know how you left the Phocidae family.
Artioma: The word ‘left’ gives the impression that I willingly transformed from a seal into my current status. I had no hand in that process.
Belinda: Really? You mean you woke up on a certain day and found yourself in this state?
Artioma: Exactly.
Belinda: Hard to believe!
Artioma: Ma’am, are you here to know the truth or to strengthen your biases?
Belinda: (Laughter). Mr. Artioma, it took me more than 15 hours to get to your country from New York by air. I also had to wade through a dense forest to your settlement. Does that convey any unseriousness on my part? I’m pressing you for more details on your evolutionary journey because my readers expect me to satisfy their curiosity with facts.
Artioma: I can only explain how I felt when I woke up one day to find my life changed forever.
Belinda: Okay. We’ll settle for that.
Artioma: On this particular day, I had escorted some seal comrades from Namibia to somewhere close to the coast of Madagascar. Three other seals were in the escort team. We needed to do that because that stretch of water was infested with crocodiles and sharks. When I returned to my home, I took a light supper of molluscs, rockfish and salmon. I barely finished the meal before a strange sleep overtook me.
Belinda: Did you suspect anything untoward?
Artioma: Not really. I thought it was just tiredness caused by the long swim to the coast of Madagascar. Anyway, I was able to play with my kids before I signed off.
Belinda: I had no idea kids were involved in your evolution to hippo.
Artioma: My kids were not affected.
Belinda: So, what happened the next day?
Artioma: I woke up with a blinding headache. That’s what took me to the coastline. Water refreshes me. Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t do the seal waddle anymore. I had developed four webbed toes on each foot, while my eyes, ears and nostrils were now positioned on top of my head. When I returned to my home, my wife and children fled; apparently they thought I was a predator preying on them. That was the last time I set my eyes on them.
Belinda: That must’ve been really traumatic for you.
Artioma: It was my worst nightmare.
Belinda: So, how did you cope with your grief?
Artioma: I just moved on. Stuff happens.
Belinda: What happened to the other three seals in the escort team?
Artioma: They had the same experience. When the shock wore off, we met and compared notes. It was then we learnt that several other seals had mutated into hippos. The trio and I are best of friends because of our shared experience.
Belinda: Did it occur to you to investigate the source of the transformation?
Artioma: To what end?
Belinda: Did it not seem strange to you that this life-changing incident occurred during your trip to the coast of Madagascar? Could it be that something triggered that evolutionary process?
Artioma: Well, I haven’t thought of that. My point is, something very radical happened that was totally outside my control. Why would I waste my time trying to turn back the hand of the clock?
Belinda: When did this transformation occur?
Artiomas: It would be difficult to give you an accurate time frame. It shouldn’t be less than two million years.
Belinda: Does evolution account for your unique characteristics such as the ability to outrun most humans despite your short legs?
Artiomas: It couldn’t have come from other source. The transformation was total.
Belinda: So, between that time and now, what has happened to seals that evolved into hippos?
Artiomas: I already told you about the status of the three in my escort team. I heard from the grapevine that several others mutated into elephants.
Belinda: Wow! That’s a great jump!
Artiomas: Nature can do anything.
Belinda: Would you be kind enough to give us more information on this?
Artiomas: (Laughter). That’s just like tasking humans to share the experiences of hippos with you. You need to hear from the horse’s mouth Ma’am.
Belinda: Okay. Francisca and I really appreciate your cooperation. Thanks a million!
Artiomas: You are welcome Ma’am.
Chapter 18 – Hey! Watch My Trunk!
We admire elephants in part
because they demonstrate what
we consider the finest human
traits: empathy, self-awareness,
and social intelligence. But the
way we treat them puts on
display the very worst of human
behaviour.
Graydon Carter21
Francisca and I returned to the States after the trip to Kenya five days before Christmas. My boss graciously approved a two-week break for us. This gave me sufficient time to unwind with my folks. A week after the New Year celebrations, we had a brief meeting with the sponsor, Lionel at his home in New Jersey. There, he informed us that one of the earliest species of elephants had been located in India. The specific destination was Munnar in Kerala State.
I was excited about the trip for two reasons. India is described as a land of dreams with vivid histories and heritage. Most importantly, my love interest at Princeton University, Aditya Rudra was based in neighboring Karnataka State. I planned to have a rendezvous with him before returning to New York. I wasn’t trying to rekindle the relationship by any stretch of the imagination. We had remained friends long after both of us moved on.
Francisca and I arrived for the appointment with officials of Kerala State in the second week of January. It was just a formality as Lionel had made the arrangements before we left New York. We were escorted to Munnar by eight soldiers. The officials explained that armed robbers attacked several tourists along the highway leading to Munnar in the recent past. That piece of information was unnerving as I wasn’t keen about getting caught up in a shoot-out between soldiers and robbers. Though I gave Francisca a look that said, “See what you’ve gotten yourself into?” she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
At the outskirts of Munnar, we were met by three locals who introduced themselves as Arjun Krish, Ishaan Kabir and Chetan Ramesh. Their spoken English was laced with very thick Indian accent. Francisca and I giggled each time any of them spoke to us. They informed us that our host, an elephant named Raja had summoned all his comrades to witness the interview. Much as I wasn’t comfortable with the arrangement, I felt it would be unwise for me to antagonize the animal by insisting on a private chat. So, I assured the men that I had no objection whatsoever.
About 20 minutes later, we caught a glimpse of the wildlife park. Wow! The scene was captivating. The moment our vehicles entered the park, we were surrounded by a parade of elephants. They were obviously excited to see us. Some bellowed, while others flapped their ears. The animals were however very orderly in their conduct. After we exited the vehicles, they led the way to opening in the park prepared for the interview. Immediately we took our seats, Chetan said, “Ma’am, the floor is yours”.
Belinda: Mr. Raja, Francisca and I appreciate the honor given to us by you and your comrades. We are here to hear from the horse’s mouth so to speak, about your evolution from Tamidae family of hippopotamus to Phantidae.
Raja: (Laughter). That’s very easy. Pluck off some webbed toes from a hippo, add a trunk or two and voila you’ve got an elephant!
Belinda: (Laughter). Seriously? I could say the same for humans. Plug off some beards from a man, add a set of breasts and a woman is born! Wouldn’t it have been better for everyone if evolution was this simple?
Raja: Sure. The truth is that the entities that evolve into something else are hardly aware of it until the process is complete and irreversible.
Belinda: I understand that the ears of an African elephant is shaped like the continent of Africa, while the ears of those of you in India are smaller and shaped like the map of India. Is this a coincidence or the hallmark of evolution?
Raja: (Laughter). Mother Nature has a wonderful sense of humor you know! It may well have been a freak of nature or a coincidence. Who cares about such things?
Belinda: So, what exactly can you remember from your own experience?
Raja: I was a very happy and excitable hippo. I relished the time I spent in the water to protect my sensitive skin from the sun. Most people don’t know that hippos can’t swim or float. Humans have a lot to learn from these comrades. While you spend a fortune on moisturizers and sunscreens, hippos actually produce theirs from their glands.
Belinda: Believe me, I had no idea hippos are skin care experts. Fascinating!
Raja: Well, my transformation from a hippo to an elephant occurred after I sunbathed with some comrades along the Zambezi River on the Mozambique flank of East Africa. As I said earlier, I didn’t notice any change immediately. The first thing that struck me as odd was the shape of my body. I couldn’t understand how I suddenly had such a massive body weight. I also noticed the broad long nose, large floppy ears and thick trunks. I was petrified. When I turned to my comrades to raise an alarm, I was surprised by the strange squeaking sound that came out of my mouth. Obviously, they were as perplexed as I was. Then one of them made a trumpet sound that startled everyone. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I could make similar sound by pushing air through my trunk.
Belinda: You said the initial feeling was fright. Did it occur to you that you were mutating into another entity?
Raja: I wasn’t thinking along that line. Mind you, I had nothing on which to base my experience. I had never seen an elephant, so there was no way of knowing if the changes we were experiencing were positive or negative.
Belinda: So, what happened after you lost your hippo status?
Raja: Naturally, we couldn’t fraternize with other hippos anymore. We weren’t actually harassed or terrorized by our former comrades. It was a case of water finding its own level.
Belinda: I would love to know what your next moves were. Where did you relocate to?
Raja: Yeah. I’m sure you’re thinking, “How did an elephant move from Mozambique to India?” We first migrated to the dense rainforests of Central and East Africa. Along the line, some of us parted ways. While some comrades settled in Botswana, Kenya, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe, I and a few others made our way to Egypt through the Nile Delta.
Belinda: So, how did you find your way to India?
Raja: Three of us were captured in 313 BC by troops from India led by Seleucus Nicator I.
Belinda: How did that happen?
Raja: On our arrival in the Egyptian capital, Cairo, the ruling Ptolemaic dynasty deployed us for battle against the Seleucid kings from India. When the Egyptians realized that we were no match for the Indian war elephants, which were massive, they abandoned us and fled for their lives.
Belinda: Wow! So, the Indians treated you as the spoils of war.
Raja: Surprisingly, we were celebrated and treated with dignity by the Indian people. In Kerala in particular, we became part and parcel of the Hindu religion as we were considered an embodiment of their god, lord Ganesh.
Belinda: So, how did just three elephants populate the animal kingdom in India?
Raja: (Laughter). It’s funny that a creationist like you is asking such a question. If one man and a woman can populate the earth as you claim, can’t three elephants do the same in just one country?
Belinda: (Laughter). You got me there. I still would love to know how you procreated so fast that India is now the home of many species of elephants.
Raja: We did have some help from the large original specie of elephants in the court of the Seleucid kings. These were very randy comrades. Because the three of us from Egypt were females, we were pursued endlessly by the males among them. I’m sure that answers your question.
Belinda: I understand that you’re the only survivor of the three elephants captured in Egypt. What really happened to your other two comrades?
Raja: They disappeared.
Belinda: Just like that? What triggered their flight?
Raja: There are too many stories surrounding their escape. All I can say is that they complained severally about sexual harassment from the original Indian species. I tried to encourage them to look at the positive side of things; we were getting all the attention and procreating so fast the Indians had to establish special wildlife parks for us.
Belinda: How did you discover their absence?
Raja: We were celebrating the feast of Parvati, the Hindu goddess of the mountains and wife of the god, lord Shiva when I noticed that my comrades were conspicuously absent.
Belinda: And none of them tried to contact you since then?
Raja: It isn’t possible for them to do that because I was told by a guard at the wild life park that they’ve mutated into another life form.
Belinda: It appears you’re not convinced that they’ve moved on.
Raja: I don’t doubt that information at all. What’s perplexing is the fact that they transformed into a lion!
Belinda: (Laughter). What do you have against lions?
Raja: It isn’t anything personal. I’m just pissed off because we were family. They didn’t even bother to take me into confidence before embarking on their mission.
Belinda: How do you reconcile your anger over their action with your earlier claims that evolution is involuntary?
Raja: Well, they didn’t transform into a lion in this park. They would probably have maintained their elephant status if they didn’t abandon their homes in the first place!
Belinda: I perceive that you’re still bitter about the development. I think you should release them from your mind and live your life to the full.
Raja: Thank you very much.
Belinda: Francisca and I appreciate the hospitality and the experiences you’ve shared with us. Would it be too much if we ask you to help us locate your estranged colleagues?
Raja: Not at all Ma’am, except that I don’t have any useful information for now. Give me some days to nose around other wildlife parks in Kerala. I will contact you through Chetan.
Belinda: Thank you once again for your time.
Raja: The pleasure is mine Ma’am.
Chapter 19 – The Roarer
Lions are neither predators nor killers.
They just go hunting like kings;
Because they are the kings!
Munia Khan22
Francisca and I were seated in the Atrium Restaurant of Hyatt Regency Hotel, Ahmedabad, capital of the Indian state of Gujarat, when Lionel sauntered in with my boss in tow. We had agreed to meet at the restaurant for lunch before moving to the conference room prepared for our meeting with government officials. The whole idea was Lionel’s, in response to the refusal of the Indian authorities to allow us access into Gir National Park, hosting one of the lions we were interested in. In a letter addressed to him, the government explained that the restriction was intended to prevent possible contamination of animals at the park, adding that two rare species of parrots died after they were exposed to deadly bacteria during the visit of a Ukrainian ecological team.
When Lionel sent another correspondence assuring the government that he would personally guarantee that his journalists do not pose any threat to the endangered animals, he was advised to meet with the Minister of Interior, Sanjay Vinod to work out a compromise.
Lionel promptly summoned a team of lawyers from both the United States and India and tasked them to come up with a position that would be acceptable to the Indian government. The team met severally at the hotel before it submitted its report to him. My boss also flew in from New York at the instance of Lionel.
As we left the restaurant after our dinner, I recalled an incident at college when the head of the Zoology Department was sacked because he allegedly caused the death of a rare bat while conducting an experiment in the laboratory. Then, I was shocked that someone could lose his job because of the death of a mere bat. With the turn of events over the status of the two lions, I could appreciate the importance of securing the lives of such animals, especially if carelessness in any form can lead to their extinction.
My reverie was interrupted by the blaring of a siren signaling the arrival of our guests. We arrived at the Lobby of the hotel as their vehicles screeched to a halt. The Minister alighted first along with his retinue of body guards and beckoned on us to follow him. From there we moved in a single file to the conference room. After the pleasantries, he asked Lionel to present his brief. Thereafter, the officials pored over the written brief and made some remarks on the margins. After about an hour of deliberation, they accepted Lionel’s offer to provide Francisca and I with standard personal protective equipment, including safety spectacles with side shields, gloves, bacteria-resistant coat with ribbed cuffs and respirators.
Three days later, Francisca and I were received at the National Park by its Director, Shivam Gokul. The sights and sounds of the park were electrifying. We were clearly in another world! The powerful roar of lions, chirping of crickets, grunting/squeaking of monkeys and the like, gave the place an eerie feel. As we approached what looked like a lion’s den, Francisca whispered, “I’ve never been so frightened in my life”. I gave her a sympathetic smile and assured her that all would be well. I wanted to say more but was interrupted by Shivam who said, “Lions react to fear. Try not to exhibit any while you’re in the presence of your host, Sinhaley”. Francisca and I merely nodded our heads.
About 50 meters to the den, a huge male lion gave a powerful roar, showing its fangs. It was by supreme efforts that I didn’t bolt from the location. Shivam didn’t even flinch. He kept moving towards the den and beckoned on us to follow him. The lion sprang to its feet. Francisca and I shared panic glances as it bore down on us. The animal stopped about 10 meters to where we stood and said “To what do I owe this honour?” Shivam smiled and replied, “Good afternoon Sinhaley. These American ladies are our guests. They’ve been given permission by the Minister of Interior to have a chat with you”. The lion flicked its tail and said, “Oh, that’s quite nice. I love to talk about me”.
Belinda: (Laughter). Really! I had no idea that lions are garrulous. Anyway, thanks for making out time from your busy schedule to see us.
Sinhaley: Just tickle me with flatteries and we’ll be friends for life.
Belinda: (Laughter). Wow! You’ve got such a wonderful sense of humour!
Sinhaley: (Laughter). You probably have heard too many ghoulish tales about us.
Belinda: Sure. No one in his right senses wants to trifle with a lion.
Sinhaley: (Grins). It pays to let everyone know that you’re the boss. Jokes apart, I really want to get the message across that we of the Felidae family are productive members of the fauna and should not be viewed as only predators.
Belinda: Trust me. I’ll get your message across. My magazine has a wide coverage within and outside the United States. That’s why it’s been picked to do this story on evolution. Which brings me to the core of this chat, specifically how you mutated from an elephant into a lion.
Sinhaley: Hmm. Tough question. The evolution wasn’t instantaneous. About 500,000 years ago, my two elephant comrades and I started meeting secretly to ponder about our fate as members of the Phantidae family. In many parts of India, many of us were rented out during religious festivals. We travelled long distances in open vehicles or walk on tarred roads in the scorching sun for hours. At other times, we were chained and used for rides, sometimes down steep forts. In fact, we were worse than slaves.
Belinda: Did you complain about these atrocities to the head of your family?
Sinhaley: Of course! After a while the three of us were treated like rebels. When we couldn’t stomach the pains any longer, we decided to take our destiny into our hands. It was then we moved to Rajasthan. I can’t say if it was the change of diet or the fact that we had so much time on our hands. Within a few years, we started noticing some changes in our body mass. Our bodies were longer with larger heads and shorter legs. We also developed an appetite for other animals, especially the weaker species like antelopes, hippos and young elephants.
Belinda: You can’t even spare elephants that were once members of your family before you became lions?
Sinhaley: We are talking about the jungle Ma’am. There isn’t any culture in the jungle and nobody gives a hoot about such sentiments. Humans can afford to be nice and considerate; after all, they have everything at their beck and call. We can’t.
Belinda: That’s not true at all. The competition for economic advantage among humans has created social classes struggling for dominance. I can assure you that we also contend with our own social jungle of human existence and the attendant upheavals.
Sinhaley: (Dismissively). Humans are nasty to themselves because they want to. We in the animal kingdom don’t do it by choice. It’s in our genes.
Belinda: So, what did you do when you noticed the changes you described?
Sinhaley: Do? We were excited about the whole thing. At that point, we were tired of being elephants. We would’ve been equally excited if we had transformed into lizards!
Belinda: (Laughter). That’s taking it too far! Who wants to be a lizard?
Sinhaley: You’ve not witnessed the cruelty to elephants in India. Now that you’re in the country, I suggest that you visit some of the tourist centers. It will give you a feel of what I’m talking about.
Belinda: Okay. Could you enlighten me on the tendency of male lions to allow their females do the hunting while they relax in their dens and wait for the prey to be brought to them? Is that an outcome of the evolutionary process?
Sinhaley: Ma’am, does it matter who puts the food on the table?
Belinda: (Laughter). I also understand that most lions can only run 100 meters race and do flounder in long distance ‘competition’ due to lack of stamina. Could this limitation have been engineered by Mother Nature to protect vulnerable animals?
Sinhaley: (Laughter). If they get away today, will they escape forever? I’m not questioning the capability of Mother Nature, but evolution is suggestive of a continuum. Perhaps this so-called limitation will be addressed in subsequent evolutionary cycles.
Belinda: Okay. What happened to your two companions? Are they here in the park?
Sinhaley (Long silence). They betrayed me after we left Rajasthan. I had no idea that they weren’t satisfied with being lions. One day, I returned from a hunt to meet their absence. It was from the grapevine that I heard that they had changed into leopards.
Belinda: How did that happen?
Sinhaley: I certainly have no idea.
Belinda: How can I trace them?
Sinhaley: I haven’t the foggiest idea. I don’t even wish to know about their fate. They hurt me too deeply.
Belinda: Sorry about that. You have to learn to forgive and move on.
Sinhaley: Lions have very long memory. We also believe that revenge is sweet when it’s criminally cold. I’m bidding my time to show them who’s the boss.
Belinda: (Laughter). I assume that they’ll make every effort to put a great distance between you and them.
Sinhaley: (Laughter). They’d better! As you earlier pointed out, it’s folly to trifle with a lion, especially an angry one.
Belinda: Francisca and I are so thrilled that you gave us more information than we bargained for. Many thanks.
Sinhaley: I wish both of you the best in your future endeavours.